It's that time again... time to blog! :)
I know I am not really good at this whole blogging thing, but I think that if I blog too much people will not want to read what I have to say... And when I write, it's because I truly feel like God lays it on my heart.
A quick update: Duane is starting to wrap up this fall semester of PA school.. yay!! He has been home more than I really expected him to be which has been a complete blessing. In all honesty I think he's been home more this fall than he ever was when he worked football :). He's still gone 3 nights out of the week, which is not ideal- but it's doable! For the most part the boys and I have adjusted and have our little routine... It's weird.. even though we've "adjusted" there's still always something "off" on the nights he is gone.
Tonight... I miss him a lot. Kaden had a dentist appointment this afternoon, got another filling, cried forever afterwards because his mouth was numb, Makson tried to be helpful and ended up just making Kade cry more.... Mak cried because he didn't want to do his homework, and displayed his lovely kindergarten attitude that tends to rear its ugly head occasionally... all while I am preparing for a sweet friend to come over, visit, and share her life with me for a bit! It's times like that when I'm reminded of how hard and tiresome motherhood can sometimes be... You know where you just want to hole yourself up, maybe crawl under the covers and hide, or heck just hideout in the bathroom for 30 minutes and pretend you have a really bad tummy???
That's how it was when we got home today... I couldn't tag my partner in for a bit and escape... instead I had to put my big girl panties on, get it together and be the mom my babies needed me to be in that moment. Taking a deep breath and calming the storm is not always easy... but it's necessary. I am not always great at "calming" the storm... often I think I just enhance it, but I'm working on it! A wise man once told me that being a good parent is hard work, and being a crappy parent is pretty easy. I am reminded daily of this! All the effort, discipline, encouragement, praise, rules, boundaries, pulling of hair, tears, and love that we as mothers give every day is hard work, but we do it because our kids are worth it!
I know many moms would agree that they're willing to put in hard work to raise their kids... but what about our marriages? Who could honestly say they put as much hard work into their marriage as they do into their parenting? I know I have been guilty of this... Why is it that we expect hard work when it comes to our parenting, but not when it comes to our marriages? Aren't our marriages worth it?
When it gets hard with our marriages many simply give up... I am so tired of seeing marriages fail because it gets tough... couples "fall out of love," "grow apart," unmet needs get in the way and are sought out to get met through other means... If we truly invested in our marriages like we invest in our children, would we see so many marriages fail?
I'm not here to preach against divorce... I know that there are times when it is necessary. I am here to say I am sick of seeing failed marriages- it hurts my heart... Every week it seems someone I am acquainted with is going through a separation or divorce... God did not create this amazing union between man and woman to see it continuously fail...
Duane and I are far from perfect... but we do continually strive to better our marriage, better one another, and solidify our marriage in Christ. We put in hard work... just like we do in our parenting... Our marriage is first- If we don't work to keep it strong and solid with joy and love... how can we display the true love and joy of Jesus to our boys? Aren't they both worth it? I like to think so...
"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 2 Thessalonians 3:5
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